Révélation

Au long de la journée, il tenait habilement toutes sortes de conversations, adoucissant ses positions pour ne les céder pas, comme malgré lui toujours enclin au plus improbable compromis – diplomate ne travaillant au final pour rien ni personne, pas même pour lui ; mais lorsqu’au retour, il marchait seul dans les rues, il se sentait d’une humeur à piler absolument n’importe qui, et il attribuait le fait de ne jamais piler personne à l’idée qu’il avait que cette détermination était en quelque sorte sensible aux hypothétiques importuns, qui, immédiatement dissuadés, n’oseraient jamais se révéler tels. Il ne songeait point à autre chose qu’à cette sienne férocité discrète lorsqu’il heurta, à tel carrefour familier, le poteau d’un feu rouge ; de ce jour, il perdit toute illusion sur lui-même et ne put plus voir en lui-même ce héros attendant l’heure d’être révélé tel dans un jet de pure violence, et sut enfin, en un instant, qu’il n’était qu’un raté logiquement doublé d’un rêveur. Rien d’autre, apparemment du moins, ne changea ; et personne dans son entourage ne put jamais savoir quel accident de parcours avait bien pu produire un changement si soudain, quoique tous fussent bien incapables de dire quel il était précisément.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

57. Loreleï électronique

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vous pouvez le prendre pour vous, mais ça n’a aucune espèce d’importance.

 

 

 

Lettre type :

J’étais bien plus honnête quand je ne savais quoi penser, ni quoi écrire, quand aucune formulation claire ne venait et que cette page virtuelle demeurait blanche ; mais puisque j’en suis à mentir et que cet écran me sépare de votre corps, que je cesserais immédiatement de convoiter s’il se matérialisait devant moi, autant vous parler sincèrement et vous avouer tout net que je vous aime.

 

 

 

– Je n’ai vraiment rien à foutre de rien.

– Pourquoi le dire ?

– Il faut sauver les apparences.

 

 

 

Franchement, il y a de quoi rire.

 

 

 

– C’est un message personnel ?

– Pourquoi un seul ?

 

 

 

Je ne savais juste réellement pas du tout quoi écrire ce soir. Relisez la lettre type. Me croyez-vous ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Très mauvais

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Tu ne peux donc pas dire les choses directement, au lieu de les mettre toujours en dialogues ?

– Les dialogues permettent au moins de n’être jamais d’accord, jamais tout à fait d’accord en tout cas, avec ce qu’on y écrit.

– C’est ce que je dis, il y a toujours quelque chose qui ment dans le dialogue.

– Et en même temps, c’est la seule honnêteté possible. Pourquoi faudrait-il croire à quoi que ce soit, d’ailleurs ?

– Mais ce n’est pas sérieux. Tu dis des choses sur ce monde, les laisse entendre au moins, et tu voudrais faire croire en même temps que tu en es dégagé.

– Je n’ai pas dit que le fait d’écrire – ou de penser – des dialogues solutionnait tout. Mais au moins cela indique le problème, et du coup ne triche pas – ou moins – avec.

– Cela devrait aussi impliquer que tu taises ce en quoi tu crois vraiment.

– Possible. Ou alors, je mets en dialogue aussi ce en quoi je crois, pour m’en dégager – puisque celui qui parle est toujours, d’une manière ou d’une autre, un imbécile.

– Pour te lire, avec les outils de recherche modernes, il faudrait alors déduire ce qu’est ce dont tu ne parles pas et autour de quoi tu parles.

– Ecriture centrifuge, lecture centripète.

– C’est ça. Mais là, nous sommes arrivés à la question de la censure.

– Et de l’autocensure.

– Tu veux dire que le dialogue sert à rendre l’autocensure productive, à lui faire passer le cap de la censure : à dire ce qui est interdit, mais d’une façon telle que la censure ne puisse l’appréhender.

– Oui.

– Au risque d’égarer, voire de perdre un certain nombre de lecteurs, donc.

– Les plus mauvais seulement. Mais qui peuvent être nombreux.

– Où est la censure, aujourd’hui ?

– Elle est à l’œuvre dans toutes les instances qui peuvent vous faire un procès pour ce que vous dites et qui ont pour seule éthique de développer le plus gros travail de paranoïa possible, et par extension dans toutes les instances qui les soutiennent on ont peur d’elles. Ce qui, tout de même, commence à faire.

– Une telle censure ne peut-elle pas être légitime, au moins parfois ?

– Elle est toujours légitimée, c’est certain ; au moins partiellement. Quant à savoir si elle peut être pleinement légitime, ce n’est pas mon problème. Parce que mon problème est de faire en sorte que l’autocensure permette de franchir la censure. Et c’est tout.

– La censure peut aussi conférer la gloire, aujourd’hui.

– Mais elle opère tout de même. Même après qu’elle sera levée. Elle aura rendu l’œuvre illisible, c’est-à-dire lisible seulement selon son critère.

– Tu pourrais faire un dialogue de cette conversation ?

– Oui, mais ce serait vite didactique. Et donc très mauvais.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

56. Vieux homme

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Il dit : – A un moment, c’est douloureux parce que vous n’avez plus rien à lui dire, ni elle à vous, et que ça vous pèse, avec la sensation du gâchis alors que c’est seulement que la passion, cette chose ridicule, peut-être inévitable, mais qui m’a l’air forcée quand même aujourd’hui, on ne s’en souvient plus assez pour s’y faire encore croire et tout le semblant qui suit ; et puis, eh bien, un moment après, quand cette bascule-là elle a passé vraiment, je veux dire si vous êtes capable de renoncer même à la frustration, vous commencez à trouver que c’est reposant, d’être là, et qu’elle soit là, avec ce silence entre vous de ceux qui n’ont rien à se prouver – en tout cas à l’autre. Oh, ça n’empêche pas de s’engueuler, heureusement. Pour savoir qui descend les poubelles, ou autre chose, par exemple. On reste des humains quand même. A un moment, on se disputait même à savoir qui resterait en dernier. Et puis voilà, hein.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Polis

 

On peut essayer de quantifier le sommet du pouvoir, mais.

Combien de morts une phrase peut faire. Combien d’argent elle peut perdre ou rapporter. Ou quels territoires, etc. Combien de divisions internes ou externes elle engendre. Quelles ripostes.

Et son influence, restreinte ou pas ? Ses mesures procèdent toujours d’une méconnaissance, non moins qu’elle-même. Pour ne rien dire de ses délais.

Se poser ces questions entrave la décision. Le pouvoir n’est lui-même qu’aveugle.

L’effroi devant toute conséquence contraint ceux qui exercent le pouvoir à un certain nombre de phrases fausses, convenues, établies d’avance – ainsi que leurs réponses.  

Et voilà pourquoi votre pouvoir est muet.

Bavard, mais muet. Clairvoyant parfois, mais toujours inactif.

 

(J’essaie de présenter les choses positivement.)